the growlings of meera the fierce

[dated for top of page]

I tag all relevant entries, relevant to mean, "for a more select group." For example, the p&p tag will bring you to pictures or stories of and about the children.

I've set up some filters for those sort of things that I might filter to a more select group.

The following poll will allow you to opt-in specifically. Remember that I do have a number of filters already set up (for example, just about everyone who I know through gaming is on my basic gaming filter) and I do, of course, reserve the right to refuse to put you in a filter requested, if I feel uncomfortable about it, but I had some ideas for additions.

It's not that I actually post anywhere else, except for trying to keep up with the webserial, but it's nice to check in here occasionally.

So, you know how you get those, "do one of these questions a day," 30-question surveys? I got one on books, and it probably took me at least a day per question, but instead of prolonging the agony, here's all of them at once. I'd love to read your answers, too, and I'm happy to go into more detail if you're interested in a real book recommendation or warning.

( Forty-six questions and answers.Collapse )

I thought I had a cope reservoir, but I can see it is depleted.

That is all.

So, this is one of those surveys that's supposed to be done over ten days. I'm a bit ADD right now with the seasonal stresses, so I'm doing them all right here, right now. (Well, actually, it's been over a few hours in my personal text editor while I come up with something good.)

( One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.Collapse )

( Two: Nine things about yourself.Collapse )

( Three: Eight ways to win your heart.Collapse )

( Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.Collapse )

( Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.Collapse )

( Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).Collapse )

( Seven: Four turn offs.Collapse )

( Eight: Three turn ons.Collapse )

( Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.Collapse )

( Ten: One confession.Collapse )

...schedule? I have a schedule?

It's 12:20am, and what I really want to do is get the markers out and decorate my tummy in bright and shiny non-permanent colours that no one will see under my work shirt.

ACNW:

I'd post my game list, but the truth is, since my darling arainbowcat has half a year until she's of legal majority, I had to find "teen-friendly" games.

Somehow, I think if any game I ran had a bunch of kids, it would end up being the naughtiest, raunchiest game of my convention. Because I am a teenager, still... times, um, two. [snort, grin]

Apparently, I just "bring that out in people." What a silly super power.

OTHER SILLY SUPERPOWERS:

I am good at sexing snakes.
I can order food in a faux-pirate fashion.
I can often read my cat's mind. (It's a vice-versa thing, though.)

This is not a full or complete list.

SNAKES?

Yeah. We haz one. It's less trouble than the goat.

GOAT?!?

Don't ask.

WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU?

Um. Well. Hey, look, I have a stack of green drawers. And they're labelled!

Actually, I told arainbowcat that if I had my druthers (well, I didn't tell her about my druthers, because they're unmentionables, now that I reveal them. Woot! I'm wearing pink and green striped druthers! This is a lie.) I'd be that person in the commercial with everything boxed, stacked, and labelled.

Hey, speaking of things we haz, we HAZ GOT SHELVES.

I missed my books.

Yep, we're cleaning up. We might even be able to have people over before the end of the year.

I'm, um, not holding my breath. But I did schedule next year to have a "MYSTERY MEN HALLOWEEN PARTY." We might be ready by then.

We have this huge skeleton hooked to our front door. I like it. It says, "Keep out, you're next."

arainbowcat had found a welcome sign and had put it up next to the door. I looked at her. "Do we LOOK like welcoming people? Like people who want people? Except for dessert?"

NOTE TO SELF: BUILD MORE BEAR TRAPS.

That's always a good note to self. Unless a bear trap is just a better mouse trap.

That'd make bears just better mice.

That's an odd thought.

And with that, I looked at the time and panick'd. Important things at work tomorrow! Must get rested! Smooches and love to those of you who should get 'em. Plague tomorrow. There's always plague tomorrow.

Wait...that's not how it goes. Hmmm.

You don't hear me talking about the Big Issues here.

My mom often complained about my being "a feminist" when I was growing up. She's the type of person who would be quite happy to have a partner "take care of her." I am the type of person who thinks that the term "cute and helpless" in an adult is an impossibility. These things do not intersect.

I'm the type of person who listened to Steven Barnes at one of the Anaconisms give a simple and elegant request to see black men in television get to be men. ...and I despair seeing something that doesn't prove the need for it.

I'm the type of person who is keenly aware that my geek love is driven by the forces of white men.

I am hypocritically bored at the art museum - why do I want to see the "classics" if they're done by dead white guys? Who made them the rulers of the world?... um.

I still like "Artesia," anyway. And "Darkover." And old school X-men. A little Heinlein now and then. And yes, Elfquest. And "NCIS." And several iterations of Batman. And I read fairy tales from all over the world. And my vision of faery has tengu courtiers looking at Mab with amused suspicion.

I'm the type of person who listens to pop radio songs and explains when they reinforce the idea that it's okay for someone to force another, and no, that isn't love.

I'm the type of person who knows that if I didn't look and act white, I would never have gotten away with bringing my backpack into the pharmacy Wednesday and walking out without being searched.

I know that I am a fat girl and that I will have to deal with people staring at me anytime I eat anything, ever. And that even if I lose weight I will always think like a fat girl.

I try hard not to give advice without being asked.

I'm keenly aware that my kinks are not the kinks of the rest of the world. (I collect erotica from different ethnic groups. It's fascinating, and often uncomfortable. I can't call it unpleasant because it's pleasing to learn. It's not what I'd call "exotic.")

I am a night owl, but I try to remember that some people like the sun.

I don't understand monosexuals, but I try to remember that some people are squeamish about things I think perfectly reasonable.

I like to eat animals. I like my vegan and vegetarian friends, and not just with barbecue sauce. I'll try to be courteous about it. (Please don't ask me to lie.)

I am aware, but that doesn't mean I don't get tripped up on my own awareness. I occasionally have ridiculously guilty worries that something I say will be taken to a dimension I didn't predict.

I have my own blind spots. I have my own prejudices (even cloaked in preferences instead.) I am full of ignorance and some of it is right in the middle of the stuff I thought I knew.

I have a strange ability to draw conclusions from unreasonable evidence and be correct. This includes touching people's sore spots physically and verbally without even knowing I had blundered towards the bruises. Maybe I do "see pain."

I do like to think that if I'm insulting you, though, I'm deliberate about it. You can certainly take it that way if you'd like. Or you could make sure I'm not just having a dense moment and didn't think how you might take it.

I am a very special snowflake.
But I like to think you are, too.

In the "five things make a post" vein of keeping people informed that I continue to exist...

1) arainbowcat is amusingly horrified by "my dirty poinking finger." Which is the finger that was lifted towards her by the fellow who was justifiably annoyed by her apparent laughter at his expense. She is lucky she was not fonged.

1a) "Poink and Fong, featuring: Traf!" are not a group of pirates. But they could be.

2) I am going to make a glittery pink and black jesters cap for my Fierce Jaguar. I say that because I should be cleaning my room and instead I am looking at all the neat things in it, like the box of "material I can use for projects." I need a needle and thread.

2a) I am telling myself, "No more projects," but my brain is hearing, "I should learn how to play the guitar."

3) Chapter Seven! The Arms of the Lady in which Dr. E finally gets lucky. Well, he at least gets well-laid. "Luck" is probably beyond him right now. Back to the grind! (And bump!) (Nevermind.)

4) Why do I always remember that I have a Skype account (and am happy to Skype with you as "working.maenad") only when I've taken off my shirt? (Probably like how I only remember I have a Pandora account when I'm about to start working on cleaning my room. Really. It's happening.)

5) What should I be when I grow up?

I am a dragon. (Yeah, I am probably the only one here who suddenly has a song from "The Black and White Years" going through their heads at that sentence. You can find a version at blip.fm, though, to my surprise. I got it from an obscure music feed back when I spent my Monday nights listening to new mp3s...)

I am trying to fulfill a contract from, um, two years ago. (It's been hard not having any space to work on these things with - I tried to grab a picture of my "end of bed workspace" but it's too busy to use...imagine that!) The problem is, when I do get a chance to put all my beads into perspective, I spend too much time admiring my hoard to necessarily come up with the creative juice to make Just The Right set.

Today was a good day - spent it in my pajamas, played some with the kids, recharged, wrote a seven-page letter to my grandma by hand, had the fan on... got some writing done, lost a game of Dominion to tLK but it was a hard fought battle, just stayed pretty mellow. And managed (so far) three sets of earrings.

I'll take it as a win.

["Ninety-eight marvelous bats! If one of the bats should fly away... ("Bye, Count!") ninety-seven bats in my car today!"]

So, about three months ago I noted I was starting to come back with an internet presence. You may now commence laughing. It's been about two weeks that shadowpryde reminded me that I hadn't been over to see her and her odd clan in about six months, and she's barely 10 blocks up the street.

I did go out to eat with teal_cuttlefish um... a while ago, and I pointed out my lurkers may support me, but they aren't so many when I disappear for a while.

So.

( Update on those things I mentioned that one time.Collapse )

Anyway, I don't plan on saying anything foolish this time like, "Now I'm back to keeping a bigger online profile," or somesuch, but who knows... you might run into me somewhere.

Since my computer died, I've been reading but not really commenting on things. I've got a few other projects that have been taking up my time and energy.

( Cut because no one should have to read about my projects. The other stuff I don't cut because I am a sadist...Collapse )

But, mostly, I'm staying out of trouble. Working very hard, hoping tLK can get employed. Trying to find a place to move to, trying to keep the drama to a minimum, trying to keep happy and healthy. Had to borrow a bit of money this month, but showed how I'd pay it back by April even without a tax refund. It's all good, I guess. My mother-in-law is scheduled to leave the full-time therapy place sometime this week, neither I nor anyone else has ended up in the hospital in the last couple days, no, I haven't read any good books because I haven't made it to the library in months. Hate the snow. Have no opinion on Kansas...

Boring. That's why I don't post much. But I figured you might want to know I'm alive, and it's a way to work in that I might start posting again Any Minute Now.

...in my Portal Doctor series. And I'm still not done with Chapter Four. But that's OK, because I like where the story has gone.

Actually, this post is a minor request. Avoiding the other storms of posts on various topics you've already formed an opinion about, I'm only needing a small thing.

A picture of Jenny Greenteeth.

A scary picture of Jenny Greenteeth. See, I know the exact picture I'm thinking about, and it's scarier than the one my husband grew up scared of. It's for my daughter, who, before we found the Cutest Little Witch Costume EVAH, wanted to be "something scary." But I can't find it on the web. (I think it was from a book of Fairy Tales I got as a present for being a flowergirl at a wedding when I was much younger, which might be in my storage or might have been lost forever. Or it could have been in my red brick of Fairy Tales I no longer have but remember the stories from, from a tengu in a teapot to the chambermaid of cats.)

So, please send in your Greenteeth pics and help me add to a legacy of fear? Or um, something like that. (No need to go photoshopping - like I said, this is an old piece of art.)

First, thanks everyone who helped fill out my survey. I am, of course, trying not to draw conclusions on what kinds of friends I make [grinning], or even what having consideration/respect means in the context of a presumed requited love that it's so important, but it did help me get out of the book-funk.

---

Second, yes, I did submit some games for ACNW, and as promised, neither are Amber games until I can get to the point where I feel I can run an Amber game enough unfettered by the ADRPG ruleset that I no longer feel the great heaving angerfeel I can break out of the GM-feeds-player-player-feeds-GM cycle.

Instead, I have one Illegal Gods game, and one game heavily inspired by the same things that inspired my Portal Doctor series. Heck, I'm way over 40k words on that thing, and it's starting to actually get kind of readable, if I say so myself. For the first time in many a year, I'm running things I am kind of pleased with... which means they're 75% likely to be cancelled.

---

Did I mention I'm over 40,000 words? I only say that because it's now time for Chapter Four. Inherently readable, absolutely unpublishable, still a good habit.

---

Looking for a house again - have found two perfectly good houses - one probably worth making an offer on in Aurora. Am not really convinced - only way we sold our last house was via luck and bad circumstances so I'm not entirely enchanted with the idea of going ahead and buying something. Same time, the house has come down $50k so if markets change it could certainly improve over time, but I'm still kind of ...ehh.

Still, our lease is out next month and the place is too small, so need to work on things. Hard to find a place to lease that's decent but will still allow 3 cats and a dog.

---

Woot! I'm doing another fanfic-athon entry for a fandom I've never written for, but, arainbowcat, it's not the story you want, so I'll still have to write that one. Even if it is sick, twisted, and wrong. Going back to my WIP while I'm at it, polishing them, keeping the dust off.